Adios Mother F*cker

9/12/2012

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Now when I first saw this post on Pintrest I went "Bring it Bitch!" and was determined to try it. My main restraint was a lack of Blue Curacao, which I found after my 3rd liquor store... yea Washington, you can go fuck yourself... Anyways, I had had a rougher day than usual and NEEDED a drink. This seems to happen quite often in my world... Back to my booze! So seeing as I got home from everything at 3pm I decided it was 5 o'clock somewhere and began grabbing ingredients.
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For those of you that are blind the recipe goes as follows:
  • 1 oz Gin
  • 1 oz Light Rum
  • 1 oz Tequila
  • 1 oz Vodka
  • 1 1/2 oz Blue Curacao
  • 2 oz sweet and sour mix (see post below)
  • 1 oz Sprite
Mix all the booze and throw the Sprite on top... And then I guess kiss your ass adios... or whatever...

Originally I was like "YEA!!! Bitches gonna be drunk all up in here!" (I said this in the comfort of my own mind because I'm not black). But as I poured shot after shot into my glass it began to dawn on me... This is a shit ton of booze. But then I remembered I got called a "poopie face" from a random child leaning out a window of a car (good parenting) earlier in the day, so I decided it was time to try it.
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Hello friend... two enemies... one questionable acquaintance... and one possibly new friend!
Mine is a bit more blue, partially because I had to battle my ice container for just a couple cubes. And I do mean battle... blood was almost drawn...
The Taste?
Well if you don't mind being punched in the mouth, then yea, it's great! Mind you I booze it pretty decently, so though it hurt to drink it wasn't terrible. The tequila came through a bit strong though, and even my husband noted it when he finally arrived home... to a pretty tipsy wife.... It's now 3 hours later and I'm still nursing this puppy. It's pretty rough, my husband can't drink it, and I cough every couple of sips or make a face. But I'm feeling pretty damn good. So if you're looking to kiss your ass goodbye, regardless of taste or alcohol poisoning, then yes this is the drink for you.
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Simple Syrup and Sweet & Sour Mix

9/12/2012

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In line at the grocery store, I see some poor sucker with both Simple Syrup and Sweet & Sour Mix in his cart. I couldn't help but thinking: "that poor idiot". Now for those of you that have been purchasing these 2 items, you need to stop.. right now.
"But why, Pintrialer?" You may ask...
Well Timmy, (yes your name is now Timmy) because it's a total scam. Not only are you wasting you money, but you're putting weird shit in your drinks that will probably give you leukemia. Booze, on the other hand, will only punish your evil, evil liver.
All this being said, I decided it was time for this post, regardless of whether or not it was a pin.
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The finished product, clear
Simple Syrup
Ingredients
  • 1 part sugar
  • 1 part water
Directions
  1. Heat in a sauce pan until sugar is completely dissolved in the water
  2. Let cool
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1 Cup Water + 1 Cup Sugar
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Turn on the heat! But careful that shit is hot... and scars....
Sweet & Sour Mix
Ingredients
  • 3 Simple Syrup
  • 1 parts fresh-squeezed Lemon
  • 1 parts fresh-squeezed Lime

Directions
  1. Combine all ingredients. I don't even know why I put the directions here. It's pretty damn obvious. If you're not smart enough to figure that out, then you probably shouldn't be trusted with alcohol... or a computer.
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Juice those lemon and limes!
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all 3 ingredients
Now do you see how ridiculously easy that was???? STOP BUYING THAT SHIT!!!
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Don's Bramble

9/10/2012

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Ok it's game day and I need another drink, mostly because my team is going to lose.... terribly... SO Pintrest! Ok I'm kinda lying.... My sister-in-law sent me this and I figured why the hell not
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The Don's Bramble
Ingredients
 In a cocktail shaker, muddle the berries, Simple Syrup, lemon juice and salt. Add the pisco; shake. Fine strain into a chilled double rocks glass, add crushed ice and garnish with an orchid or lemon twist
Since this was easy and we'd just picked up Pisco in Peru I was like HELLS YES! For those of you that don't know, Pisco is a Purivian Grape Alcohol, often used for Pisco Sour. Anyways back to the booze...
Given that I had a crap ton of blackberries and my team was giving it up faster than a teen on prom night, I was needing a drink. I pulled over the hubby, showed him the drink and convinced him our hard won Pisco was in need of using.
Since I had no orchids or lemon twists on hand I just went with my awesome glasses.
The Taste?
It knocked my socks off. Which was a bit much for the hubby but after a couple sips I was on board. I should make this clear, I'm not a huge cocktail (hehe cock) person, I'm more of a happy girlie drink that I can down like 5 of kinda person. So yes at times this was a kick in the mouth, like any time you got any blackberry, but not terrible. My super smarty hubby took this and mixed it with seltzer water and made it "amazing!". So keep that in mind friends...
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